These days, a search for “Christian marriage advice” will garner hundreds, if not thousands, of websites. Where can a person find the most comprehensive information about relationships, dating, and marriage, all with a Christian perspective?
Spiritual Bridge was made to benefit believers in the Lord Jesus Christ and to encourage people of all backgrounds in the faith. Please feel free to use our website as a means of inspiration and motivation in your daily walk with "The Risen King our Lord Jesus Christ", and with your spouse!
Christian Marriages and Intimacy
Why is intimacy important in a Christian marriage, and how do we make sure we enjoy our marriage? These are the difficult questions that Spiritual Bridge will help you and your spouse answer together for a more intimate relationship. Whether you are a young couple, newly married, raising a family, or going through a transitional period, we seek to give advice on a wide array of topics related to having a true spiritual and godly marriage. God created marriage and intimacy so he wants couples to be able to find it within a healthy context.
Beyond procreation, intimacy within a Christian marriage is very important. It is a God-given activity that all couples are called to participate in together. It’s more than just procreation – intimacy is all about the love we should show our Christian husbands and wives. Spiritual Bridge will help you explore the ways in which Christian married couples can branch out and enhance their intimate time together so that the husband and the wife achieve individual satisfaction as well as a closer bond with each other. We must remember that our spouse’s emotional bank is just as important as our own.
Unfortunately, many men believe that being intimate is over once they’re satisfied – and the problem is many women also believe that. In a loving, Christian marriage, both spouses need to feel intimately connected. The easiest and most important way to ensure that is by communicating with each other. Communicating within any marriage is vital to all its functions, so let's aim to please in the area of intimacy. Ask your partner if what you are doing is what the need to become intimate. Take direction for new ways of pleasuring your partner. Pay attention also to the non-verbal cues you are getting from your spouse. Even if you have been married a long time, there may be some things you haven’t asked, or something may have changed physically within your spouse’s body, and varying the “same old, same old” makes everything feel new and fresh again. All you have to do is pay close attention.
How to Keep Your Intimate Life Fulfilling
Whether you are a Christian couple who has just stepped onto the path of a biblical marriage, or has been on the road together for many years, Spiritual Bridge can provide excellent, Christian marriage advice for you and your partner. We want to emphasize that being close is an activity designed by God to be relationship-strengthening and pleasurable. It is a healthy and integral part of the relationship between married couples.
Do you feel like the “spark” has gone out in your marriage? When you have been married a long time, it is easy to settle into the routine of work, kids, chores, and real life situations. This happens to every couple during some point in their relationships. This is no different in a Christian marriage.
Even if you don’t have the time or the resources to drop everything and do something spontaneous like honeymooners, you can still make changes that help regain that feeling of a deep connection with your husband or your wife. For one thing, try not to let work interfere with your home life. It is fine to talk about your day while you have conversations over dinner, for example, but there should be a time to put work away. Use the time instead to talk about more important things with your spouse. Make each other feel loved, wanted, and cared for. Remind each other of what it was that brought you two together in the first place.
Don’t forget to show affection. Hug and kiss often. Tell your spouse you love them. Touch hands and let your eyes linger on one another. This is how the bond of the spiritual marriage is enforced as well as the physical. When you make time for physical intimacy, you are able to really explore how important this part of marriage is in the context of the Christian marriage. This means you can take the time to put that knowledge into practice.
Increasing Communication and Decreasing Stress
There is no way to avoid the simple fact of life – sometimes stress creeps into a marriage. This includes facing difficult issues and conversations that will seem unpleasant at the time. These pressures have the ability to harm a happy relationship. But how do we stave off these influences?
Spiritual Bridge recommends laughing more. It’s important to relax and remember not to take ourselves or each other too seriously. A godly marriage is a serious commitment, as we know, but a Christian marriage should be fun too. Sharing in humorous moments makes you feel closer to each other and feel better about the time you spend together. It can help to lift you up so that in times of trouble, when you may otherwise be inclined to be angry or critical when your spouse makes a small mistake, you can instead draw on the warmth your laughter has created. This causes you to be gentler and quicker to forgive.
When both spouses are stressed, it can lead to problems and tension in the future. Learning how to laugh at even the most overwhelming situations can diffuse the stress, leading to better communication with your spouse. The call of the spiritual marriage is to bring out the best in each other. The core of a long-lasting Christian marriage is to really put in the time and the effort. Spiritual Bridge has some practical advice to bring out the best in your spouse:
● Through Clear Communication: Do not be too “vague” in your conversations with each other. Take the time to be specific about what you want or need so that there is no confusion about any subject.
● Through Transparency: Let your spouse know exactly what you expect and want from them. Be transparent about your needs so that they won’t have to “guess” what it is.
● Through Showing Appreciation: It’s surprising how many couples forget to say “thank you”, even for the smallest gestures. Let your spouse know that you are thankful for the things that they do for you on a regular basis.
● Through Support and Encouragement: Support your spouse in his or her endeavours and life goals. In this way, you are really showing your spouse that you understand their dreams for the future. They will feel more empowered with your encouragement.
● Through Self-Care: When you can take care of yourself, you are able to take care of your spouse. Keep in mind that you are not perfect and that it is alright to make mistakes. This attitude will help you be more forgiving of your husband or wife.
Show Gratitude to Your Spouse Often
It is important to remember these words from Corinthians 13 in the scriptures:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
One of the best pieces of Christian marriage advice is to recite this verse, almost as a mantra. Call upon these words whenever you feel you could be providing your spouse with more love and support.
Spiritual Bridge embraces these simple yet powerful words from the Bible. Love, respect, and appreciation are all ingredients in the recipe for a happy and successful Christian marriage. It can be easy to take our spouse for granted, to assume their love and respect for you is enough to sustain the fullness of the biblical marriage partnership, but that is simply not true.
Think about the last time you told or showed your spouse how much you appreciate them. If you cannot remember when that was, it is definitely time to give Spiritual Bridge a good read.
How does the spiritual marriage benefit from showing gratitude often? We all like to feel appreciated, and thanking your partner for something he or she has done for you will make them happy. Gratitude strengthens relationships. The same goes for a kind deed. If your spouse packs your lunch for you, it means they thought of you and did not want you to have that particular task on your to-do list. Be sure to show your appreciation.
Place God at the Center of Your Marriage
Our lives have become increasingly busy and full of obligations to others outside the God centered marriage partnership, and it is easy – perhaps too easy – to push our spouses to the bottom of our priority lists. Spiritual Bridge reminds us all just how important the person is whom we chose to spend our lives with. Just as it is easy to push our spouse and their feelings aside when life starts to get in the way, so too is it easy for the Christian couple to lose sight of God’s presence in the daily workings of their marriage. Welcoming God back into the biblical marriage can help you feel more connected to your spouse and your faith.
God has much to offer us within the context of the biblical marriage. Spiritual Bridge shows us how to see God in the design of your Christian marriage, look to God to sustain your marriage, and trust God to improve your marriage. Genesis 2:18 states, "The LORD God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’”
The Christian marriage is one of God’s first decisions, and it is a sacred union. Thinking about your marriage in this context will help you to see God’s design in your union. Turning to the scriptures will help you to receive God’s strength and guidance in sustaining your marriage. Wisdom and understanding ultimately come to us from God, and so we must turn to Him in order to build and establish our home. Lastly, remember that Christians are called to place all their trust in God. It is therefore necessary to entrust God with the dreams and hopes for your marriage, and to guide you along the right path. You need not trust only in yourself. Open yourself up to God’s loving guidance, allow him into the center of your biblical marriage, and watch your faith and your marriage blossom.
Work Healthy Habits into Your Marriage
There are little ways to bring positive habits into your marriage that will make a huge difference. Developing a healthy spiritual marriage where both partners believe in and bring out the best in each other can be difficult when we are surrounded by scepticism, sarcasm, and criticism. If we are not careful, small issues can turn into much larger ones. You have the power to love and encourage each other. It is a choice that you have to make every day together.
One habit that you can practice is keeping a lookout for negative comments. If you would like to improve your communication with your spouse, watch to see how often you speak about your spouse in a damaging way. Sometimes off-hand or seemingly humorous comments seem harmless at first, but they actually cause a lot of harm.
If you catch yourself making these sorts of remarks, change your habit and become more positive with your words. Instead of saying something that could cause harm, practice verbalizing your support instead. Do not assume your spouse knows that you love them. If you haven’t spoken it out loud, they may not know it! Try expressing your encouragement for one another in public as well as in private. Positive words add value, build confidence, and encourage growth.
Spiritual Bridge also reminds us to celebrate your spouse’s successes. Show excitement about a “win” at work, for example. Be happy for them when they have achieved a difficult goal. Even if you think it’s small, it is not unimportant. Treating your spouse’s success as unimportant may cause them to think you believe they are unimportant. Give the appropriate praise, or if the success warrants, perhaps a celebratory dinner out. If they enjoy receiving gifts, you can try that as well!
Take Time with Your Spouse
Proverbs 18:13 states, "To answer before listening – that is folly and shame." Sadly, in this modern age of hurry-quick-rush, it is becoming more and more common to jump to a speedy reply rather than taking the time to truly listen to what your spouse is telling you. It helps to know what your usual distractions are – for example, being on your phone too often. Instead, listen to what is being said and think carefully about your reply.
If you think this is a habit you want to change, Spiritual Bridge is here to help. Here are a few ways to take more time with your husband or wife:
● Make eye contact when your spouse is speaking to you
● Don’t rush to assume anything – take your time to understand them
● If you don’t understand, try to clarify by repeating what they have said back to them
It is important to remember that your personal habits do not change overnight. They will take practice, but over time – and with reference to Spiritual Bridge – you will become a better listener in no time. When you develop these practices correctly, you will be able to make your spiritual marriage a top priority.
How to Manage Anger and Arguments
We understand that anger inside of a relationship can be difficult to address. When you become angry, try to refrain from verbally attacking your spouse. If he or she has failed at something, avoid seizing the opportunity to tear them down and ruin their self-esteem. Concentrate on the problem at hand, deal with it, and move on, toward the next success.
Getting past anger takes a lot of inner discipline. With time and persistence, however, you can dramatically improve the way you use your words and the impact they have on your godly marriage. Instead of preventing your husband or wife from achieving their potential, your words can provide the encouragement and the empowerment necessary to make it a reality.
Arguing and disagreements are a normal part of any marriage. However, when you begin to notice that there is ongoing bickering and resentment towards each other, this can be a sign of a real problem. When left unresolved, this will place a strain on your relationship. Spiritual Bridge reminds Christian couples to remember why they chose each other to be together in the first place and find guidance in scripture. Spiritually inspiring verses on Christian marriage and relationships can be a great source of encouragement in the Bible.
Proverbs 17:14 states, "Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam.” When you begin an argument, ask yourself: would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy? Perhaps it’s best to let the smaller issues go. Sometimes, however, difficult disputes arise that the husband and wife do not see eye to eye on. It is very important to resolve these so that they do not cause larger problems in the future. This means picking and choosing your battles.
How do you handle disagreements in a non-combative way? Approach your spouse and let them know that you do not wish to upset them, but there is a potentially sensitive issue that needs to be addressed. Take the problem on as partners, not as opponents, with a mutual goal of solving it. In this way, you can keep your pride and hostility in check. If there is no way to solve the problem at the present time without losing your cool, sometimes it is best to drop the matter and revisit it at a different time.
Remember to keep the Bible in mind when navigating bumps and potholes on your journey through your Christian marriage. The calming influence of both the scriptures and Spiritual Bridge provide an anchor for those moments after an unproductive discussion. The Bible also provides a jumping-off point for the next time the topic needs to be broached. It serves as a reminder that the godly marriage and the relationship with one’s spouse is more important than being right.
Communicate Early - and Often
We talk often about communication, but what does it mean to communicate in the context of the spiritual marriage? Even if you have been married for years, it’s no secret that no one is a mind reader. You should not expect that your spouse should know exactly what you need from them. They should not expect that you can read their mind, either. Each of you needs to have an active voice in every matter so that disagreements can be solved quickly and easily.
Good communication is not always as easy as it seems on TV, especially if you have not put it into practice for a long time. Longer talks often occur when resentment and anxiety has built up under the pressure of all the important things left unsaid. Make sure you tell your spouse when something is bothering you. This avoids resentment and pent-up feelings.
If both partners agree to not meet openness with hostility or defensiveness, it will be easier to maintain open dialogue within your Christian marriage. This way, if one of you needs to bring up a sensitive and difficult topic, your spouse will remember to stay calm and hear you out before jumping to conclusions and becoming upset. Marriages do sometimes need to tackle unpleasant issues that you might rather tuck away and ignore as long as you can. However, it is best to deal with these issues quickly, before they have a chance to fester.
Good and open communication is not only for handling the stresses and difficulties of a Christian marriage. It also involves telling your spouse every day how much you love and appreciate them. It is the positive reinforcement of good deeds done and when they have made you happy. Spiritual Bridge asks us to remember to be open, honest, understanding, and compassionate, and you will always be able to communicate with each other.
We all know “that” couple – the husband and the wife who seem to be created just for each other, who have been together for many years, yet still seem so happy and in love. How do they do it? What is their secret?
There is no magical formula for marital longevity. What it takes to keep your spiritual marriage alive is a lot of hard work. Always remember that even when you are going through those inevitable difficult patches – every couple has to face them at some point.
In the midst of an argument, all of your spouse’s negative qualities may come to light at the expense of their positive ones. You may feel like you want to throw in the towel and not deal with this person’s stubbornness, incompetence, and thoughtlessness any longer. However, try to bring to mind all of the reasons why you fell in love with your spouse in the first place. Concentrate on all of the positive aspects of your relationship instead.
Sustain Your Biblical Marriage
Why does it seem like so many marriages go downhill? Earlier we talked about the “settling” effect. Settling does not mean everything becomes automatic and easy, but we tend to treat it that way. We tend to notice that we must work – hard. We get tired, we want to stop putting in the work required to sustain the spiritual marriage. As time goes on and infatuation gives way to love, commitment, and a deep attachment, marriages require a different kind of effort. You need to be willing to compromise, to communicate, and apologize for your mistakes. This means speaking to your husband or wife with humility.
To sustain your biblical marriage, it is important to use your Bible to guide you and give you strength when facing marital difficulty. Remind yourself often to treat your spouse with compassion, patience, and gentleness. When you feel like you could use some guidance from God, just remember these two encouraging verses:
● Ephesians 4:2 states, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."
● 1 Peter 4:8 explains, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
Try to read these verses every day if you think it will help. If you remember this Christian marriage advice, you will be sure to sustain your godly marriage through whatever challenges life has to throw at you and your spouse.
Christian Marriage Advice for Engaged Couples
Are you a soon-to-be-married couple? Certainly you want to be the best spouse and partner possible to each other, but each future married couple will face their own unique challenges. Spiritual Bridge advises us to:
● Be financially practical in your marriage relationship. For example, learn how to budget, curb any bad spending habits, and try to save money for the future.
● Avoid laziness and procrastination. Take the time to understand that you are making a selfless commitment to someone else for the rest of your life. This includes taking on the responsibilities of running a household together, even if you do not feel like handling them at the moment.
● Understand that your life is now dedicated to someone else. Matthew 19:6 states, "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate." You do need to maintain a sense of individuality, but in your Christian marriage, your actions and decisions no longer only affect yourself, but another person as well.
Engaged couples can find support and encouragement with Spiritual Bridge – check out our many resources for having a future together that is filled with happiness for years to come.
Christian Marriage Advice for Couples Considering Divorce
We understand that divorce is a difficult and sensitive subject, and sometimes there is nothing you can do about it. Spiritual Bridge wants to be an encouragement to you when you are facing a divorce.
In today’s society, it seems as though getting a divorce is both common and easy. As anyone who has been through a divorce can attest, it is anything but easy. Working on the marriage, instead of ending it, is just as labour-intensive. However, when it is successful, it can be far more rewarding. So, when things look at their bleakest and your biblical marriage seems broken, but you and your spouse both know you want to work on it, what can you do?
Spiritual Bridge suggests that the first thing you should do, even if you want to lash out and blame your spouse, is to look inward. If you are the one that has been handed divorce papers by your spouse, it can only mean one thing - that your spouse has reached a point where they have given up and are ready to walk away. It does not necessarily mean you are wrong, or that your spouse does not love you anymore. What it means, at this crucial juncture, is that pride and ego must be set aside. Fold up the finger of blame and put it away, then get to work on changing your own behaviours, habits and attitude. Concentrate on forgiveness, starting over, and moving forward.
Sometimes what causes couples to drift apart is the lack of romantic feeling for each other. They have become buried in the outside influences of life, and become emotionally disconnected from each other. Lack of intimacy is one major reason why many marriages end in divorce, but the good news is that this is something that can be fixed. Dig into the memory bank and remember all those little things that made the two of you fall in love with each other in the first place. Maybe even try to recreate those memories. In this way, you stand a chance of saving your relationship.
One of the most important virtues of a partner in a biblical marriage is having a sense of personal responsibility. It is also a key factor for any successful marriage. When a marriage starts to fall apart, it is important that both spouses take full responsibility for their roles in a situation. When both parties neglect their responsibilities to each other, refuse to take responsibility for the mistakes that they have made in their marriage, and are not willing to do their part in the marriage, the marriage is not likely to survive.
These may sound like easy tasks, but they take work if your godly marriage stands a chance. Make a choice to commit yourself to doing these simple things, and divorce will most certainly never be an option for you and your partner.
Even in the most solid of biblical marriages things are bound to start to go wrong at some time or another. Christian marriage is meant to be a solid and lifelong commitment, but the strength of the bond can present a number of unique challenges. Try to refrain from attacking your husband or wife and attack the problem instead. As Les and Leslie Parrott said in I Love You More, "Before a single step is taken, before a move is made, spouses will need to realize that it's not who's wrong, but what is wrong that counts."
The Christian marriage is sacred in the eyes of God, but that does not mean we don’t face many of the same challenges as everyone else. Many Christian couples have seen their relationships - and even their faith - tested by infidelity, lying, communication problems, financial difficulties, disagreements over raising the children, and more. In short, Christian marriages can fall victim to the same types of problems that plague marriages in general.
Spiritual Bridge is Here to Help
If you and your spouse both agree that it is time to seek outside guidance, Spiritual Bridge is here to help. We know that it can be difficult to ask for help, especially when it comes to the intimate nature of a relationship. Sometimes this involves seeking outside assistance from a Christian marriage counselor. There are many professionals offering these kinds of services and it is important for couples to choose the counselor who can best help them to overcome the challenges of their marital relationship.
Partners in a Christian marriage have the advantage over their secular peers when it comes to marriage counseling: they can turn to the church. Many churches offer excellent marital and family counseling, combining the tenets of the faith with the tools needed to save a troubled relationship. This kind of faith-based counseling can be extremely effective. Couples who are having problems may want to first turn to their priest or pastor for assistance. If the church does not have counseling, the pastor or priest may be able to recommend a Christian marriage counselor who views marriage as sacred and has the same religious beliefs that you both have.
Christian marriage partners also have the option of doing their “homework” by reading the Bible daily and praying as a family. The Bible offers a wealth of resources for couples who are facing life's challenges, including some valuable marital advice that has stood the test of time. Praying together while seeking the guidance of qualified professionals can help couples heal their troubled marriages and emerge as a stronger family unit. You don’t need butterflies and heart palpitations to sustain a lifelong commitment. It’s really all about choosing to love your partner every day, even when it’s difficult.
If you tend to be a more practical person, there are a few discussions you can have either with each other or with a counselor to see where you both stand on different issues. Here’s a sample list you can use:
● How does your partner view money and finances? Do they have the same habits and goals regarding spending and saving as you do?
● How does your partner feel about family – do they have the same family values as you do?
● Do you feel he or she has a solid understanding of how to be a good husband or a good wife?
● Do you each share the same religious beliefs? This is a very important factor – for the harmony of the marriage and the decisions involved in raising children.
● How does your partner treat others? Are they kind and compassionate to everyone they meet?
● Does your spouse employ healthy coping strategies when stressed, angry, or scared?
Keep in mind that some issues will be easier to resolve than others. For example, disagreeing about finances will have a different effect on your relationship than having a disagreement about your children. No matter what the main issues are, it is much better to resolve them – the earlier, the better.
Any Christian married couple, no matter what area of their marriage they would like to improve, can find the Christian marriage advice they need on Spiritual Bridge. From sex and intimacy, to love, to reminding themselves why they chose to spend their lives together, to keeping the marriage as their top priority in a world full of other distractions, we want to help nurture your relationship and make it grow.
The topics mentioned are but a snippet of those available on Spiritual Bridge. Our helpful resources are designed to advise, not lecture, and to keep you grounded in your faith. The scriptures teach us to use our faith as a guide, to search the word as for priceless hidden treasures and to put the word in action! Spiritual Bridge is the go-to website for all things a Christian married couple may need to consult. No matter what stage of life you are in, if you listen to the word of God, keep up with your scripture reading, and consult Spiritual Bridge, you will be sure that you have placed God first in all of your endeavours.