"In my mind, marriage is a spiritual partnership and union in which we willingly give and receive love"...
It is a heartbreaking experience to get married to your one true love and hope to spend the rest of your life with them, only to be handed divorce papers somewhere down the line. Many blogs for Christian women correctly point out that there is usually so much anger, frustration, and confusion that comes with divorce. No one in their right mind wishes to experience this type of emotional turmoil.
There are lots of married couples out there who are faced with so much uncertainty and so many unanswered questions concerning their rocky marriages. What can one do when this happens? What are the options? Although there are some situations where divorce is the best option, there are a great number of marriages out there that do not have to end in divorce. The good news is that there are in fact a few things that couples who are interested in saving their marriages can do to avoid divorce.
When two people who genuinely love each other experience the ups and downs that come with marriage, divorce really should be the last resort. In all honesty, divorce should be the very last option after several genuine attempts to save and rebuild a marriage. Unfortunately, in the society that we live in today divorce is so common, and as easy to get as ordering a pizza at a restaurant. However, this does not have to be the outcome of your marriage. If you are genuinely interested in saving your marriage and are willing to put in the hard work, even in a situation where your spouse has pretty much thrown in the towel, here are a few helpful tips on how to prevent your marriage from ending in divorce.
1) Self Work
The first thing that you need to do is to work on yourself. If you are the one that has been handed divorce papers by your spouse, it can only mean one thing - that your spouse has reached a point where they have given up and are ready to walk away from the marriage. Nonetheless, this does not necessarily mean that you are the one in the wrong, or that your spouse does not love you anymore. It just simply means that in order to calm the situation and get to a point where changes can begin to be made, someone has to be the bigger person.
At this point, and for the sake of the marriage, pride and egos have to be set aside. This first move is very crucial and will determine whether or not you can move forward to the reconciliation stage. Remember, once your spouse begins to see the change in your attitude, they will most likely be motivated to take a good look at themselves, and the role that they played in getting the marriage to the point where it is at. Try your best to avoid playing the blame game and focus instead on forgiveness, starting over and moving forward.
Take time to reconnect on an emotional level with your spouse. Sometimes what causes a lot of couples to fall out of love after they get married is the fact that they stop being romantic towards each other. They get so caught up in the realities of marriage and all the stuff that comes along with that, to the point where they eventually start to disconnect emotionally from one another.
Believe it or not, lack of intimacy is one major reason why a lot of marriages today end in divorce. The good news is that this is something that can be fixed. All you have to do is rekindle that old flame, go back to what it was that first attracted you to your spouse, and start from there. Recreate your relationship by doing those simple little romantic things that made you fall in love with one another in the first place.
3) Take Responsibility
Finally, you need to take full responsibility of the role that you played in getting the marriage to the point that it is currently at. One of the most important virtues in a person when they get married is being responsible. Responsibility is one important key factor in a successful marriage. When both parties in a marriage neglect their responsibilities to each other, refuse to take responsibility for the mistakes that they have made in their marriage, and are not willing to do their part in their marriage, the marriage suffers tremendously.
Follow these easy tips and watch how your marriage gets back on track. Make a choice to commit yourself to doing these simple things, and divorce will most certainly never be an option for you and your spouse. Consider this quote from Iyanla Vanzant:
"In my mind, marriage is a spiritual partnership and union in which we willingly give and receive love, create and share intimacy, and open ourselves to be available and accessible to another human being in order to heal, learn and grow."
The most important part of that quote, for you, is that a marriage makes it possible to learn and grow. If you put in the effort, then you should be able to correct past mistakes and work towards a better future.