In Song of Solomon 1:2 the wife eagerly exclaims, "let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine."
It can be easy for married couples, no matter how much they love each other, to lose some of the spark they had in the beginning of the relationship. Even if you spend almost all of your time together you might not be connecting on the same level that you used to. After a while, conversations can begin centering on your work, chores, stresses, and worries, and not much else.
There are three solid rules for communication with your spouse after 7PM that can help keep that spark alive and make sure that it is never buried in the more mundane demands of life.
- Don't talk about work
It's completely fine to talk about what happened at work when you get home and when it is on your mind. Later in the evening, however, it would be best if the two of you decide not to let the stresses of your jobs intrude in the time you get together. If you've spent the whole day apart, then now is the time to turn your attention to each other. Bringing your office into your home and especially into your bedroom is a great way to stifle intimacy and connection.
- Show physical and emotional affection
Rather than talking about work, you and your spouse's evening conversations should focus on making each other feel loved, wanted, and cared for. Remember that communication isn't limited to words either. You should also show physical affection by making plenty of physical contact such as hugs and kisses. Let your eyes linger on each other and your desire show through every little touch.
The way that the bride and groom in the Song of Solomon long for each other and make their affection obvious offers the perfect, Biblically based spiritual inspiration for how you and your spouse should relate to one another. In Song of Solomon 1:2 the wife eagerly exclaims, "let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine." Likewise, in Song of Solomon 1:15, the groom is equally enthralled with his bridge when he announces, "behold, you are beautiful, my love; behold, you are beautiful; your eyes are doves."
- Make time for physical intimacy
Physical intimacy is one of the most effective ways of helping a married Christian couple feel more connected and more in love with one another. Sexual union was designed by God as a way of connecting a married couple not only physically, but emotionally and psychologically as well. You might not have the time or energy to make love every single night, but you should try to structure your evenings in a way that would allow for it if the mood strikes.
There is no real way to completely remove unpleasant communication from married life. You promised you should share your lives, and that is going to involve sharing the parts that aren't so fun. You can, however, ensure that your whole relationship isn't swallowed up in the practicalities of life by changing how you communicate with one another after 7PM.