You've heard it said, "It's not the gift. It's the thought that counts."


You've heard it said, "It's not the gift. It's the 

thought that counts." While this may be true, we have been 
left wondering what was he thinking by some of the gifts 
we have received over the years. Do not be that guy. Here are 
the Top ten No-Nos when it comes to shopping for your 

10. Sports Paraphernalia 
Sorry, guys. Ninety percent of the time we are just being 
polite when we cheer on your alma mater. In reality, sweaty, 
overweight guys huddled in a writhing pile on the fifty yard 
line just doesn't "do it" for us. We do not need a memento of 
the occasion. 

9. Camping Gear 
We have no use for this. If we should ever have a lapse of 
good judgment and agree to an excursion through the outback with 
you, we fully expect you to provide, gather, carry, load, unload 
and be responsible for every thing it will take to sustain us in 
the boondocks. 

8. Hunting Gear 
We are, for the most part, the civilized sex and have no desire 
to live off the land. We do not think its cool, neat, or 
necessary to come face to face with our dinner in its natural 
habitat. Grocery stores and restaurants were invented so we 
would not have to do this any more. 

7. Power Tools 
If we have anything that should ever require drilling, sanding, 
or sawing, we fully expect you to take care of it. We have no 
need for a stocked tool shed - as long as you have one. 

6. Firearms 
Do you really want to arm a woman just scorned by a bad 
birthday gift? Enough said. 

5. Household Linens 
They are too presumptuous. We will feel like you've obligated us 
to let you help break in our new sheets and dry off on our new 
towels after your shower. 

4. Gift Certificate for a Make Over 
We are not going to think you are trying to pamper us. We will 
believe you do not like the way we clean up. Love us or leave us, 
but do not try to change us - or make us think that you are trying to anyway. 

3. Gym Memberships 
This just screams, "Happy Birthday, Fatty." Why do not you go 
ahead and make us an appointment to have the lap band surgery 
while you are at it? 

2. Exercise Equipment 
We want to know we are perfect in your eyes. This kind of gift 
says, "Oh, I love everything about you, darling, but there is an 
abundance of love in the thigh area." The only thing lacking is 
for you to get out that plastic white thing that pinches your 
inches and take a BMI reading. 

1. Clothes 
Guys, this is a no win situation. Unless you know her exact 
style and size, this kind of gift will do more harm than good. 
Say you bought your special lady some sexy lingerie and it was 
too large. The only logical thing she can say is, "Do you REALLY 
think my butt is THAT big?" 

Now that you know what to avoid, go out and get your girl a 
gift she will be proud to show off. You can do it! We know you can. 
Besides, you just got some insider information. You cannot go 
wrong now.